Shouldn’t Have Dared Us!

May 18 2012

I was bored out of my skull, it was a Friday night and I should have been out enjoying myself, but everything had gone wrong that day, first the party one of my mates at school was giving was cancelled, then I discovered that most of the crowd I hung around with had been collared by their parents to do various things. So I was forced to stay home, across the room my twin brother was looking as bored as I was, not that he looked like me at all, we weren’t identical twins just born within a minute of each other, me being the oldest by that minute. There we sat, two fifteen year old boys, and there sat our eighteen year old sister who had been assigned to baby sit by our parents who had gone off for a long (and I suspected dirty) weekend. Don’t get me wrong, I love my sister and I think she’s a dishy bird, but at fifteen I felt a bit miffed that my parents thought a baby sitter necessary.

“What’s on the box Pete?” I asked my brother.

He picked up the telly guide, glanced through the listings and sighed.

“Bugger all.” he replied.

“Andy,” my sister said, “why don’t you read a book or something.”

“I don’t feel like reading Becky.” I replied.

“So what do you fancy?” she said sharply.

“Hell,” I grinned, “I don’t know, but sitting here doing bugger all is not my idea of fun.”

“Put a video on.” She suggested.

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Wedding

May 17 2012

My name is Anthony, although all the kids at school just call me “Nerd Ant”. This is my senior year and I’m the school’s top honour student with straight A average for my entire 4 years of high school. I’m also probably the last virgin in the entire graduating class.

Not a single date in my entire 18 years!

Every time I get close to a girl I break out in a rash, and on occasion even stammer somewhat. During the class elections for special categories in our year book, my picture appears under the caption “NERD BOY 2012″ and “NERD GIRL 2012″. I won both categories.

Looking on the bright side, I go to every school dance because its considered cool to have ‘Nerd Ant’ at all the really good parties. Sometimes the girls and guys have contest and see who can embarrass me the most. One time the guys hung me upside down on the football guide post with my zipper unfastened just as the opposing team arrived. A few weeks later about 12 girls cornered me in the hallway and June, the prettiest cheerleader in school, asked me if nerd boys have a penis like other boys. I began stuttering so much that the school nurse sent me home.

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